I am wondering if there is more to the handshake between Bingley and the Colonel. Great set down to Bingley and Caroline! Oh, to be a fly on the wall when the Colonel left!!!
I’ll have to go back and see what the deal was with Bingley. I would have expected him to be surprised, but glad for Darcy. Was it affront that Darcy didn’t tell him personally? But then the nasty remarks about the Bennets? Hmmm.
A good intense chapter that leaves us wanting more and quickly please.
This was a great chapter and looked clean to me (edit-wise). I’ll have to go back and read the earlier ones to look for issues. I love a good Bingley (any of them!) smack down. I’m intrigued with the good Colonel’s ability to read people (please tell us more!) and curious about what exactly Bingley was trying to hide. It felt to me like both Caroline and Bingley were expecting to be able to latch onto Darcy for Caroline. The Colonel certainly didn’t pull any punches with either of them and looks like Bingley’s time with Jane Bennet may be up.
Editing: Chapter 2: ‘The instinct to obey his own dragon, Hypnos, forced him to assert himself in extreme situations.’ I think you need to add ‘only’ after the word ‘himself’, to portray the indolence of his usual manner.
Chapter 3: ‘Tattoos that could become living reminders of their joining, a conduit for the dragons to mind speak with the other’s spouse, and a physical warning to all that these hosts carried dragons.’ This is a run-on sentence; there should be a period after ‘spouse’. The next sentence might be better phrased as “It also serves as a physical warning to all other dragon hosts.” A bit more concise.
I would also point out that for mental discussions with dragons, the wording should be in italics or bold to denote thought as opposed to speech.
Is your tale meant to be in British or American English, and Regency period specific? If you are intending to be Regency period specific, you will need to avoid contractions as the period speech is much more formal than it is today.
Discussion: YAY!! The set down we all wish to be a part of OP&P! I love it when it happens in JAFF. This is no exception. Truth be told, I am curious as to what Richard saw when he ‘read’ Bingley during that handshake. Is Bingley just lazy and stupid and won’t fight against Caroline, or is he a more willing partner to her schemes? Does Caroline have a hold over Bingley to make him compliant with her wishes other than his usual avoidance of conflict? Do either have magic?
For that matter, does Lydia? When Darcy explained what is needed for Lizzy’s recovery, he lumped Lydia in with Caroline Bingley as threats to her security and peace of mind.
I am sure that Caroline cannot undo the marriage of Darcy and Lizzy. What can she and Lydia do now that they are married? I can’t wait to find out.
I think Bingley is a mostly willing partner with Caroline. He wants here gone and willing to do what he must to make Darcy take her, though the thought she may have a hold over him, magical or otherwise is also probable. His denigration of the Bennets is not normal for him.
Even though there was no “action” it felt like a lot happened. I love the apparent talent the Colonel had to know what Bingley wasn’t saying.
I am wondering if there is more to the handshake between Bingley and the Colonel. Great set down to Bingley and Caroline! Oh, to be a fly on the wall when the Colonel left!!!
I took it to be a type of mind read. Not exactly but enough to know deception or truth
He read the expression on B's face.
There is that. Bingley clearly needs to be vaporized
I’ll have to go back and see what the deal was with Bingley. I would have expected him to be surprised, but glad for Darcy. Was it affront that Darcy didn’t tell him personally? But then the nasty remarks about the Bennets? Hmmm.
A good intense chapter that leaves us wanting more and quickly please.
This was a great chapter and looked clean to me (edit-wise). I’ll have to go back and read the earlier ones to look for issues. I love a good Bingley (any of them!) smack down. I’m intrigued with the good Colonel’s ability to read people (please tell us more!) and curious about what exactly Bingley was trying to hide. It felt to me like both Caroline and Bingley were expecting to be able to latch onto Darcy for Caroline. The Colonel certainly didn’t pull any punches with either of them and looks like Bingley’s time with Jane Bennet may be up.
Editing: Chapter 2: ‘The instinct to obey his own dragon, Hypnos, forced him to assert himself in extreme situations.’ I think you need to add ‘only’ after the word ‘himself’, to portray the indolence of his usual manner.
Chapter 3: ‘Tattoos that could become living reminders of their joining, a conduit for the dragons to mind speak with the other’s spouse, and a physical warning to all that these hosts carried dragons.’ This is a run-on sentence; there should be a period after ‘spouse’. The next sentence might be better phrased as “It also serves as a physical warning to all other dragon hosts.” A bit more concise.
I would also point out that for mental discussions with dragons, the wording should be in italics or bold to denote thought as opposed to speech.
Is your tale meant to be in British or American English, and Regency period specific? If you are intending to be Regency period specific, you will need to avoid contractions as the period speech is much more formal than it is today.
Discussion: YAY!! The set down we all wish to be a part of OP&P! I love it when it happens in JAFF. This is no exception. Truth be told, I am curious as to what Richard saw when he ‘read’ Bingley during that handshake. Is Bingley just lazy and stupid and won’t fight against Caroline, or is he a more willing partner to her schemes? Does Caroline have a hold over Bingley to make him compliant with her wishes other than his usual avoidance of conflict? Do either have magic?
For that matter, does Lydia? When Darcy explained what is needed for Lizzy’s recovery, he lumped Lydia in with Caroline Bingley as threats to her security and peace of mind.
I am sure that Caroline cannot undo the marriage of Darcy and Lizzy. What can she and Lydia do now that they are married? I can’t wait to find out.
I think Bingley is a mostly willing partner with Caroline. He wants here gone and willing to do what he must to make Darcy take her, though the thought she may have a hold over him, magical or otherwise is also probable. His denigration of the Bennets is not normal for him.